they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
