Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Randomize
