this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
