@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
