I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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