my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
