I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
