Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
