she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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