officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
