I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
