My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
