If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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