I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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