i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
