I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
