I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
