Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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