hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
