Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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