Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
