I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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