I'm gonna have a badass scar
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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