I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
