saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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