the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
