i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
