Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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