Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize