I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
