id be glad to
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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