college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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