My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
