but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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