It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
