remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
