i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
