do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
