I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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