Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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