oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
