i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
