i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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