i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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