whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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