It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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