i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
