You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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