Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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