Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
