i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
