I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
