Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
