guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
