don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
