Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
