I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
