he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
