So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
