My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
